Number One Eight Sided Pyramid Insanity..This is one of those facts that when stated will cause people to hate on you and attempt to pompously correct you on, but is genuinely true…like tomatoes being a fruit, that the biggest desert in the world is Antarctica, or that French people are actually quite polite. Okay, that last one was a lie, but, get this, in 1940 a British pilot discovered that each of the four sides of the Great Pyramid were actually split in two by a concave indentation, creating eight equal sides.
Number Two Earth….Not Egypt...One thing stands out amongst Pyramid building cultures; they all possessed advanced knowledge of mathematics, astronomy and the earth’s geophysical properties. Basically they were antiquity’s greatest nerds, except without the distraction of Star Trek fan theory and Japanese tentacle porn. There are even similar looking Pyramids in Italy, Giza, China and South America, which are all themselves strikingly similar to Cambodian temples and Indonesian structures. It’s like someone just pressed copy and paste a whole bunch of times and hoped no-one would notice.
Number Three Giant Tombs….Stamped Everywhere?....Let’s rethink that. No bodies have ever been found in the Great Pyramid or many of the thousands around South America. The absence of corpses, which is a great band name by the way, has been attributed to grave robbers and archaeologists taking anything that wasn’t nailed down. But that doesn’t explain why the Pyramids didn’t contain burial items such as the sarcophagus.
Number Four: Their Purpose?) “Big Things Are Cool?” Some speculate they were used to store grain or valuables, but any theory that believes these amazing structures were just ancient K-marts is far too dull to explore. One interesting idea looks first at where the Pyramids were built. The Egyptians constructed the Great Pyramid in the geographical centre of the Earth along specific lines of latitude and longitude; almost perfectly oriented to the four points of the compass, facing true north more accurately than any structure built before or since.
Number Five: Secret Rooms and Passageways so Unexplored I’m Furious.) Beneath the Sphinx and within the Great Pyramid sonar and radar technology has uncovered a few ancient secrets. They are believed to contain many small passages which have lain untouched by man, making them the exact opposite of Miley Cyrus. So far we have only uncovered a few of these, yet it seems strange that such a vast building would be used to house only a few small corridors and tombs. What is interesting is the lack of willingness from the Egyptians to explore these areas.
Number Six: Too Many Commonalities) Not only were the Pyramids in South America built in the same way and style as those in Egypt, but many utilised identical measurement systems, and as we’ve already discussed they lay on important lines of latitude and longitude. Is it out of the realms of possibility that one particular culture wanted to spread their ideas facr and wide? Traversing the endless oceans of the globe to spread the word of their one true god?
Number Seven: Ancient Pyramid Building Civilizations Interacted?) There are many theories regarding contact between old and new worlds pre-Columbus.
Number Eight: Extraterrestrial Pyramid Party?) Both the Mayan and Egyptian cultures record gods coming down from the sky to give them instructions to build the pyramids. But many cultures claim such meetings with deities and spirits, in fact my local quack preacher claims to shake hands with the lord every time you give him ten dollars…joking aside…he’s basing even THAT claim on how God in the bible came down from the sky and gave man instructions….and let me ask you a question…what comes down from the sky thousands of years before the Wright Brothers were even born…..what...birds….rain? So…what other theories support an extra-terrestrial influence? Perhaps we have to look at the sudden growth in development of Pyramid building cultures. In both Bosnia and Sian in China, large pyramid structures have been discovered which were originally believed to be hills. We already know that the ancient Chinese were intellectually advanced at the time, and guess what…so were the Illerian people of pre-historical Bosnia. The Egyptians, The Mayans, The Chinese…every civilization with a history of Pyramid building has been more knowledgeable and innovative than their contemporaries. Is it always the case that the most intelligent people build these giant desert triangles just for fun?